Yes, you DESERVE to look good!

August 19, 2008 at 3:05 pm 6 comments

*Adapted from the upcoming FREE e-book: 

How To Be An Average Goddess

100+ Secrets of Smart, Savvy, Sexy Women – Blazing a Path Through Life!

Listen to me ladies.  Seriously – pay attention:  what I’m about to say is probably going to piss some of you off.  I’m sorry.  No, wait, I’m not.  The ones who are going to be annoyed with me?  YOU are the ones who need to hear this.

It is time for you to come to terms with the fact that your appearance is important.  I might go so far as to call it critical.  I’m not talking about societal standards, magazine airbrushing, or mandatory anorexia.  I’m talking about recognizing, and displaying with pride the value of YOU.  You see, women have a unique weapon in this jungle of survival of the fittest, and it’s one that men can’t ever touch.  It’s our femininity – our priceless ability to be both soft and hard, mother and warrior, alluring and powerful.  Reality check:  you CANNOT represent any of these ideals effectively by schlepping around in frumpy clothing, a pair of Crocs (oh dear god save me), and that hack-job hair cut you gave yourself last night.  NOT.  GONNA.  HAPPEN.  And don’t think that just because no one is actively making an issue of these things, it’s not affecting you.

How do you feel when you look your best?  You stand a little taller, there’s more purpose in your step, and more confidence in your voice.  You look people in the eye.  You handle situations more smoothly.  What message do all of these actions broadcast?  “This woman is a force to be reckoned with.” 

Let’s compare that to this scenario:  You haven’t been in a hair salon in ten years. Your clothes fall into one (or more) of the following categories: 1) the majority of the contents of your closet have been there since your kids were in elementary school… and they’re now entering college,  2) are dangerously tight because you are in patent denial about going up a size, or 3) are shapeless, colorless, and devoid of style because you hate shopping.  And makeup – please!  Who has the time?!  What image do you suppose this presents to the world?  At best, laziness and indifference.  “This woman does not care about herself, and has no clue how to put herself together.”  At worst, it could be perceived as ineptitude.  “If this individual can’t even see her way to putting an appropriate outfit together, why would I entrust her with ________________” (fill in with a position, a promotion, a big project, etc.). 

To which individual are you more attracted?  This has nothing to do with vanity, ladies, this is self-respect, and that has a beauty that transcends age, pants size, chest size, hair color, and body shape.  You ABSOLUTELY deserve to have current clothing, a professional haircut, and glowing skin, hair, and nails.  You’re worth it.  That’s the truth.  Now go do it.

All my love, Kristy

*Adapted from the upcoming FREE e-book: 

How To Be An Average Goddess

100+ Secrets of Smart, Savvy, Sexy Women – Blazing a Path Through Life!

Entry filed under: Business and Career, Health, Relationships, Success and Motivation. Tags: , , , , .

She’s Bought the Farm Body Clearing – A Healing Technique

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. PaintandSoul  |  August 19, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    I ran into this idea very young, at 14, when I had to get my first job. (Yes, I worked at 14 – at my mother’s company – but I had to interview and look professional to work there!) It’s sometimes very , very hard to face that we deserve to look good, and to acknowledge how it makes us feel to look good. The funny thing is, it isn’t actually that hard, and the payoff is SO worth it!! I honestly believe there should be classes in middle school or something where these things are taught, but taught correctly. In terms of esteem and empowerment, which is where I know you’re going with this. There are always exceptions (like the delectable sparker Nat) who cut their own hair gorgeously, but for the most part women undervalue spending a little time on themselves and understanding their bodies, hair, skin, etc. The day I learned my true body shape and what suits it, my proper inseam and cut for jeans, chopped my hair into a bob, how to workout to get attractive arms, etc…. life got better. I know it sounds shallow when you look at it that way, but it wasn’t at all, it was empowering. I now had a tool to pick out clothing that made me look as good as I can. And I rock it. And it feels SO good when I do. I’m very excited to read your e-book when it comes out Kristy. Waiting on pins and needles!

  • 2. averagegoddess  |  August 19, 2008 at 7:39 pm

    You SO get it. As always. Like you say, there are always exceptions. The exceptions to whom I’m NOT speaking, well, they know who they are! And you’re dead on – it is about empowerment. It’s about taking what life gave you and making it the very best it can be. Why on earth would you NOT use every available tool at your disposal to achieve your highest success?? And it is frustrating that these ideas could be interpreted as shallow by some, because again, that is only a result of society’s programming. “It is vain and unnecessary to focus on yourself. Ever.” That just couldn’t be less true. Thankfully there are women like you to help spread the new gospel! 🙂

  • 3. Meredith (LitC!)  |  August 20, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    I think this concept can also be adapted for the male gender. How many times do we run into a guy with hair that is long past due for a trim, wrinkled/tattered clothing and an unkempt stubbly face? And what do we immediately think? Ugh. I’m not talking about the purposeful ‘scruff’ and well kept longer hair either. We immediately discount them. I’m not saying it’s right . . . but it happens every day. Like the ZZ Top song . . “Every girl’s crazy ’bout a sharp dressed man.”

    Even being overweight (like myself), dressing well is appreciated. It shows that you DO have the ability to take care of yourself. (the overweight issue is another one entirely!). If you can’t show the world that you have the ability to take care of yourself . . . they aren’t going to trust you with the care of anything else (be it a job, a person, etc etc).

    I love this! I can’t wait to read it!

  • 4. averagegoddess  |  August 21, 2008 at 12:45 am

    I’m sure there are those who would disagree with me, but I see two differences for men. The first is that, the majority of the time, they don’t RESENT having to put themselves together for work, with the idea that it makes them some kind of an office sex object. I sincerely feel that is something many women still need to get over. The second is that if those men are NOT perfectly presented, they are judged nowhere near as harshly as women are. It’s not fair, but it’s just the way it is. So quite frankly, I think the best possible stance we gorgeous gals can take is the classic: “Anything you can do, I can do better!”

    And to your point about weight, you are absolutely correct – that IS a another issue entirely. I’m talking about putting your best face forward at every possible opportunity. In general, the world will treat you with the same level of respect that they perceive you treat yourself.

  • 5. Cali  |  August 21, 2008 at 1:52 pm

    L-O-V-E-D the blog!!! And I’m really looking forward to the book!

    I was nodding my head in agreement with everything you said. It’s SOOO true!! And actually,… part of what you said has always gotten me in trouble – lol. I enjoy shopping and fashion (even when I was 40 lbs. heavier,… I always wanted to look sharp!) and sometimes I enjoy it just a bit too much! *grin* But sometimes I also forget about it… It’s good to be reminded of it sometimes!

  • 6. averagegoddess  |  August 22, 2008 at 2:54 am

    Thanks so much! I just hope I got my point across! ;p I admire the fact that you have always taken pride in, and responsibility for your appearance and self-esteem, no matter what the number on the scale was!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


Recent Posts


%d bloggers like this: