Farewell to the Princess

August 11, 2008 at 11:18 pm 4 comments

My cat is dying.  A beloved and respected member of the family, Woosie is 21 years old, and her body has finally run out of fuel.  She hasn’t eaten since last Wednesday (five days ago), and stopped drinking water yesterday.  She is the first pet that I have not had to put to sleep, and though well-intentioned friends have advised me to do so, I will not.  She is in no pain, and is not suffering, and therefore I will not take it upon myself to decide which of her last moments might be the most important.  She can stay as long as she likes, and go whenever she is ready.  I have had her since I was a child, and honestly, I cannot remember life before her.  She knows my whole history, and has never, never failed to support me in a time of need.

 

She is an incredible creature – the kind of cat that cat lovers respect, and cat haters point to as an example.  Regal, aloof, independent, beautiful… but also gentle, intuitive, and strikingly intelligent.  She was never a snuggler, but always wanted her people near her.  She’s the type of calico known as a “tortie,” because of her tortoise shell coloring, and these characteristics are pretty common among their uncommon breed.  She also has the softest, sweetest, most velvety cat tongue I have ever encountered, and once in a very great while, when she was feeling particularly loving, she would grace you with a tiny kiss on your hand or forehead, and your heart would melt on the spot.  She loved to walk through the kitchen to make sure you were listening, before making her way back to the living room sofa to sing her song of “woe-is-me-no-one-is-paying-attention-to-me,” at the top of her lungs… which sounded a lot more like, “save-me-someone-is-ripping-my-legs-off.”  I really should have been more appreciative of the humor in that.  It was the running joke (which was actually the truth) that she was the reigning princess of the house, who ruled with an iron paw of great softiness, and her wish was our command.

 

Oh, how I have suffered in the last several days.  I’ve tried my best to keep it from her, as I am well aware that my suffering is for me, not for her.  She’s fine –totally at peace, with no hunger, thirst, or need.  I, on the other hand, am a total disaster.  I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest with grief at the thought of not having her near me, or hearing her rhythmic Purr-Of-Doom forcing me into a nap I didn’t mean to take.  I have tried to tell her all that is in my soul, even though I know she already knows – again, it’s for me, not her.  I just want her to know that I wish her peace, and joy in her transition to her next journey, and that I am excited for her, that she is now free to move on to whatever adventure she chooses. 

 

As is usually the case, I have grown from this experience, but today’s lesson seemed most significant to me.  I know we are all energy at the fundamental level, that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, and that it is in a constant state of flux.  Further, we are all part of the same energy, whose particles are being constantly interchanged, and there is no separation that is not illusion.  Therefore, I and my cat are the same substance, and thus we can never truly be apart.  As long as I exist, Woosie exists as well, and as long as anything exists, so do I.  We are all eternal.  It was amazing how peace just settled over me like a blanket when I had that revelation.  My heart still hurts, I fear my eyes may never dry, and when the moment comes, I will still be devastated – but these things are superficial and temporary, compared to the vast eternity of All That Is.

 

Thus, as she lays here breathing quietly beside me, I bid her “Farewell” in the old sense of “Fare Thee Well,” or “Good Journey,” because there can be no such thing as goodbye.

 

All my love, Kristy

Entry filed under: Law of Attraction, Relationships. Tags: , , , .

The Power of Gratitude Vs. Need Dinner With My Husband – An Average Monday

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. sam  |  August 12, 2008 at 12:29 am

    love to you and a kiss to woosie. ,may her passing be peaceful. i know the pain of losing a loved pet and my heart goes out to you. i have been through this many many times myself, as i always have had a houseful of animals, mostly rescued. your heart will heal in the knowledge that you gave her a great life and loved her til her last moments. remember energy never dies and she will not be far from you . namaste sam xx

    ps 21 is an amazing age for a cat !! your desciption of her character is beautiful

    Reply
  • 2. averagegoddess  |  August 12, 2008 at 12:47 am

    Sam – I wish I had the knowledge I have now when I crossed this bridge my other pets. It is a strange… and amazing… experience to be able to find gratitude in the midst of agony. I am so glad to know that there are others who understand. Thank you so much!

    Reply
  • 3. PaintandSoul  |  August 14, 2008 at 6:31 am

    My tears at the moment are not entirely of sadness, they are happy for you, and for your Woosie, and for the gift her life was to you and you to her….. still they are there. I remember the agony too well still, but time has helped. Now when I feel that familiar pain at losing one of my own darlings, I also remember exactly what I loved and while the tears fall I’m smiling. I can already see you’re on the path to the same fate.

    Reply
  • 4. averagegoddess  |  August 14, 2008 at 1:10 pm

    Thanks Painty. I always knew it would be hard – after all, they can’t live forever, right? Everyone’s support has really meant the world.

    Reply

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