When you’re finished, please share your thoughts below!

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We discussed the idea of spending 365 days in 340 square feet… with one’s husband…. EEEEEEEEEK!  Essentially, it could be the best or worst idea you’ve ever had.  (I believe I got her to reveal that the secret ingredient is…shhhh… laughter!)  We talked a great deal about the value of relationships in general, the role they play in a balanced and contented life, the importance of taking the time to maintain them, the richness they add to life’s experiences, and how they helped her to establish her priorities. 

Another of Doreen’s transformations in the course of her story is that of being a material girl (well she IS a princess, after all!), to a girl with… rather different priorities.  She explained how this came about for her, and gave some suggestions on how others might change their view for a much more relaxed, uncluttered life.

Finally, we explored the idea of taking risks… getting out of your comfort zone.  (I love this girl – we may have been sisters in another life!)  Do you suppose it’s more likely that you will learn your most valuable lessons doing the same things you’ve always done, or by embarking on a new adventure - perhaps driving your own “inner bus?”

Most importantly, we talked about pajamas, martinis, and shoes.  (I DID say she established her priorities, right?)

The interview will be available soon at http://www.AverageGoddess.com  Sign up to receive the free weekly ezine now, and be the first to know when it’s ready, as well as receive the great special offer that comes with it!

Find out more about Doreen and her adventures at www.queenoftheroadthebook.com

Last night went by in a blur as I was preparing for the opening of AverageGoddess.com.  I’m setting up interviews, planning tele-classes, loading articles, filming videos… you name it!

Earlier this week, I interviewed Holly Rigsby, America’s #1 Fitness Expert for Busy Moms, and also the author of FitYummyMummy.  Holly is awesome.  She’s the real deal.  She has a real story of how she came to be where she is, she practices what she preaches, and she and her clients have the bodies to show that it works!  Holly works out every day.  WAIT!!!  Before you go screaming away from this page, guess how LONG she works out for?  Seriously, guess.

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15 minutes.  I kid you not.  I’ll be honest, I was a little incredulous when I read that myself (especially since many of you know my history, and that there was a time in my life when I was working out 90 minutes – 2 hours a DAY), but it’s the truth. 

If you’ve read my book or my ezine (both free – get them here), you know that I ask everyone to tell me about their fitness program, how (or IF) they work it into their lifestyle, and what their challenges are.  Almost without fail, the number one answer I get is “I can’t find time to exercise consistently.”  Well my lovelies, I believe Holly has just solved that problem for you!  And did I mention that she’s FUN? 

I was originally planning to make this interview available only to members of AverageGoddess.com, but after speaking with her for well over an hour, I knew this was information that had to be shared.  This is NOT only for moms!!  Yes, Holly addresses the challenges that are unique to moms, but so many of us lead CRAZY-BUSY LIVES, this is the answer to a prayer!  Mom or not, you need to hear what Holly has to say, so I’m giving you the opportunity to download this entire interview.  Free.  Now.  Go get it here –> http://www.averagegoddess.com/hollyrigsby.html

Ok, so I did the interview, and I loved what Holly had to say, but that’s not actually what I wanted to talk about.  Back to last night.  (Sorry, I digress.)

So I’m eyeball deep in working on AverageGoddess.com and networking with amazing people from all over the globe.  Suddenly it’s 8:00, my husband will be home in half an hour, I’m getting hungry, and I haven’t exercised! D’oh!  Just for fun, I wanted to try one of Holly’s workouts, so I hopped over to youtube and picked her “Fat Blasting Holiday Workout.”  (I picked it because the video was just over 2 minutes long – lol!)

Oh my gosh, it was fabulous – and challenging!  I did three of each of the supersets, and by the time I was done, my muscles were fatigued, my heart rate was way up, and I felt great!  (FYI, I’m no fitness slouch, so I know a good workout when I’m getting one!)  The actual workout took me about 12 minutes, plus stretching before and after, I think I was done in under 20 minutes total.  You have GOT to give this a try.

This video gets two thumbs up from me, and while I may be a KittyMummy, I am just as appreciative of a fast effective workout as a BabyMummy!  Enjoy!

P.S.  Holly is providing a special bonus for the members of AverageGoddess.com.  Click here to get your copy of the interview so that you’ll be notified as the site nears completion.  It’s gonna be fantastic!

• get the kids up
• make sure they’re dressed, fed, and to school on time
• get yourself ready for work
• make sure you look good
• perform at your best on not enough sleep
• find clever ways to eat healthy (or remember to eat at all!)
• get some exercise
• tidy the house
• wash some laundry
• get something together for dinner
• pick up groceries
• get the kids home from school
• chauffeur them to their various activities
• make sure homework gets done
• connect with your partner
• try to enjoy a hobby
• entertain on weekends
• find energy for sex
• pay bills
• call the refrigerator repair guy
• pick up a gift for your husband’s sister
• go to bed AND get some sleep… before you do it again tomorrow!

Have you ever stopped to think about what you accomplish in a day?  (I swear, the only thing we need to get this country back on track is to get a super-busy woman on the task.)  You are amazing!  From one act to the next, to the next, to the next… and only occasionally does something fall through the cracks.

But what if there was more?

“More???” you ask.  “How could I possibly get in any more?!?”

What if “life” consisted of something greater than madly dashing from item to item on a to-do list, and actually LIVING? 

This is the goal of women who want it ALL.  For us (yes, I’m one of them), it’s not enough to hit the pillow at night just knowing that “everything got done,” because guess what? WHOOPEE!  It’ll be waiting for you to do all over again tomorrow!

We want satisfaction. 

We want joy. 

We want growth.

We want enough time and energy left at the end of the day to pursue our OWN passions, achieve our OWN goals, and remember who we truly are as individuals!  (No, who you ARE is not a frenzied drone who’s purpose is to satisfy everyone else’s needs - no matter how often it may seem that way.)  With all of the monumental feats we perform in any given 24 hour span, it tends to be this ONE idea that eludes us, and truly, it is the keystone that supports the arch of our lives.  Without it, it is only a matter of time before we crumble…. and perhaps you’ve already been there once or twice.

So how can this thing be accomplished?  By creating a sense of harmony.  By both weaving together the various aspects of your life, and by creating boundaries.  By coming to understand the difference between things that are important, and those that are merely urgent.  One of the greatest gifts you can give to your loved ones is the example you set by allowing yourself to be free and whole. 

Please leave your comments below!

Find the resources you need at AverageGoddess.com

One of my friends on Twitter posted this link, and it made my blood boil.  It’s a sexist rejection letter from Disney studios, from 1938.  I know, I know… I shouldn’t let a 70-year-old piece of nonsense get my panties in a twist, but it did.  You wanna know what really put me over the edge?  It was written by A WOMAN!!  Wowza.  As my friend so aptly stated, yay for progress! … but I’m still irritated.  Maybe it’s the Snow White themed paper that makes me just want to punch someone.  “I’m sorry we can’t hire you, what with you being a woman and all, but here are some nice birds you can sing to.”  Ok, I think I’m fine.  Maybe.  Leave me your comments when you’re done steaming!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/polaroid/632255233/sizes/o/

Please take a minute to share YOUR word(s) in the comments!

1.       Before you can change how you interact, you must change how you react.  Take a good look at yourself in these situations.  How are you contributing to the problem?  Does this person see you a willing outlet for their woe?  Do you smile, nod, or even verbally indicate agreement?  Stop doing that!  You are actively inviting their negativity into your space!  Don’t encourage them.  Respond to their negativity with as much positivity as you can muster.  This will generally either show them that you are not playing for Team Whiny, or frustrate them into keeping it to themselves.  Interestingly, many negative people don’t even realize what they are doing.  They just see commiserating as a form of bonding.  By responding positively, you may just show them that there is another option.

2.       Seek the source of the negativity.  What is causing their pain?  What are they looking for?  Is there some positive way you can help?  Negative people are frequently attention starved on some level, so they attempt to draw it through sympathy.  Try giving them attention in a different way.  If the individual is a friend, greet them with a big hug, and ask them to share something about themselves that is non-negative – ask about the book they’re reading, or what their kids are doing in school.  If it’s a coworker or more formal relationship, try giving sincere compliments to demonstrate their value – it could be on their clothing, their smile, or their accomplishments.  They will likely blow this off, but repetition breed familiarity and comfort, so keep at it – it’s a worthwhile endeavor.

3.       If you feel confronting them is appropriate, adhere to the following guidelines:

a.       Address the behavior, NOT the person:  “Your negativity about this project is really pulling me down,” as opposed to “You’re so negative and you pull me down!”
b.       Cite specific examples.  “I don’t like your negativity,” will certainly not be effective, especially since they probably don’t even think of themselves as negative.  “It really bothers me when you complain    about Mary like that,” shows them exactly what the issue is.
c.       Don’t expect them to be a mind reader – be prepared to spell out what you’d like to see change.  “I would prefer you not talk to me about others behind their backs.”
d.       Request immediate feedback.  You’ve had your chance, now let them respond, and DON’T interrupt.  Their feelings are every bit as valid as your own.

4.       If you must listen to them, for whatever reason, take internal action to combat the effects of their negativity.

a.       Recognize that there is no such thing as “out there,” so this individual’s negativity is in some way a manifestation of your own feelings. 
b.       Open yourself up.  What do you have to learn from this?
c.       As they are talking, create a filter in your mind.  Ho’oponopono is an excellent technique for this (I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you.), or keep repeating silently “I love you, and I am OK.”
d.       Try Stacy’s recommendation below for letting love work its magic.  There is no stronger force!

•  @stacyreck says:  Imagine a “Pink Box of Love.” Visually put the negative person in the box & allow the forces-that-be to send them love.
• @leifhansen says: 1. Listen deep to whats behind the negativity (needs/pain). 2. Share vulnerably how it effects you. 3. Talk to supervisor.   

http://www.thegoddesswithinmovie.com 

Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com.averagegoddess 

Wishing you a passionate, prosperous, and powerful day! 

Kristy Nichols 

a.k.a. The Average Goddess

1.       When you can’t seem to get started:  Choose your task and think it through from beginning to end.  Make a list of all of the tools necessary, and gather them together now – you don’t want to build in interruptions by having to stop to get something.  Set a timer for 30 minutes, and 30 minutes only.  For those 30 minutes, accept no interruption and work as hard as you can, with the agreement that at the end of that half hour, you can take a break, switch tasks, or keep going.  The majority of the time, you will have become so involved in your project that you will want to see the task to completion, but if not, make sure you honor your agreement with yourself.  You can always repeat this process later, but in the meantime, you have accomplished some solid results.

2.       When you can’t seem to maintain focus:  Work on a series of tasks in small bites of 15 minutes each.  This is not as effective as the dedicated focus of tip #1, but some results are better than none.  After a couple of projects, you’ll usually find a rhythm and start to settle in, but even if you go through the entire day in this manner, you will have made considerable progress on your list.

3.       When you are overwhelmed by the length of your to-do list:  Start by prioritizing your list, select the six most important, then commit to 60 minutes on each project.  Set a timer, and switch when it goes off.  This will keep you from getting so involved on any one project, that you never get to the others.  Take a 10 minute break after each one, and give yourself a work-free lunch after item number three.  This is vital to keep you fresh and energized for each new project, as well as to allow you to decompress and refocus.  Note:  some items will probably not require the full 60 minutes.  Switch when you complete that item.  If you have time remaining for a second round, start with the project you initially got the farthest on, but did not complete, and repeat until all are finished.  This will make a sizeable dent in your list.  If you finish your list of six, make a new list.

4.       DO take breaks, but schedule them by task rather than time.  For instance, take a break after you finish project x, not at 11:00.  Taking breaks at a scheduled time keeps you focused on the clock, instead of the task at hand, and as break time draws closer, you will mentally begin to disengage before the appointed time.

5.       Work in a pattern of “little-little-big.”  We feel motivated when we see results, so by accomplishing two small tasks before tackling a large one, we feel like we’re on a roll!  When you’ve then finished the large task, returning to easy projects is a welcome relief.  This also ensures that your entire day does not mysteriously disappear into a vortex of minutia.  We often intend to just “get the little stuff out of the way,” and end up never getting to the projects of greater importance!

6.       When you are looking for distractions, do your best to eliminate them.  Turn off your email alerts, TweetDeck, and cellphone, unplug your land line, and put on headphones (you don’t even have to play anything on the headphones, but they will keep people from talking to you!).  When your task is complete, give yourself 10-15 minutes to make the rounds and collect your various messages.  Rinse and repeat.

http://www.thegoddesswithinmovie.com 
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com.averagegoddess 

Wishing you a passionate, prosperous, and powerful day! 
Kristy Nichols 
a.k.a. The Average Goddes

Suddenly my brain is on fire with possibilities (must be all the jalapeno).  I could put it in my stuffed portabellos instead of mozzerella, add it to my holiday ham roll ups (get this week’s issue of the ezine http://averagegoddess-freebook.com/newslettersignup.htm), top my meatloaf, make a kickin’ garlic bread… SOMEBODY STOP ME!! 

In everyone’s stocking this year:  blocks of pepperjack.

http://www.thegoddesswithinmovie.com
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/averagegoddess

Wishing you a passionate, prosperous, and powerful day!
Kristy Nichols
a.k.a. The Average Goddess