Today’s women are called to perform so many tasks, and fulfill so many roles, they truly are nothing short of modern-day superheros.  Every one of us is an average goddess, perfoming unsung heroic tasks as part of our everyday lives.  How many of these are a part of your regular routine?

• get the kids up
• make sure they’re dressed, fed, and to school on time
• get yourself ready for work
• make sure you look good
• perform at your best on not enough sleep
• find clever ways to eat healthy (or remember to eat at all!)
• get some exercise
• tidy the house
• wash some laundry
• get something together for dinner
• pick up groceries
• get the kids home from school
• chauffeur them to their various activities
• make sure homework gets done
• connect with your partner
• try to enjoy a hobby
• entertain on weekends
• find energy for sex
• pay bills
• call the refrigerator repair guy
• pick up a gift for your husband’s sister
• go to bed AND get some sleep… before you do it again tomorrow!

Have you ever stopped to think about what you accomplish in a day?  (I swear, the only thing we need to get this country back on track is to get a super-busy woman on the task.)  You are amazing!  From one act to the next, to the next, to the next… and only occasionally does something fall through the cracks.

But what if there was more?

“More???” you ask.  “How could I possibly get in any more?!?”

What if “life” consisted of something greater than madly dashing from item to item on a to-do list, and actually LIVING? 

This is the goal of women who want it ALL.  For us (yes, I’m one of them), it’s not enough to hit the pillow at night just knowing that “everything got done,” because guess what? WHOOPEE!  It’ll be waiting for you to do all over again tomorrow!

We want satisfaction. 

We want joy. 

We want growth.

We want enough time and energy left at the end of the day to pursue our OWN passions, achieve our OWN goals, and remember who we truly are as individuals!  (No, who you ARE is not a frenzied drone who’s purpose is to satisfy everyone else’s needs - no matter how often it may seem that way.)  With all of the monumental feats we perform in any given 24 hour span, it tends to be this ONE idea that eludes us, and truly, it is the keystone that supports the arch of our lives.  Without it, it is only a matter of time before we crumble…. and perhaps you’ve already been there once or twice.

So how can this thing be accomplished?  By creating a sense of harmony.  By both weaving together the various aspects of your life, and by creating boundaries.  By coming to understand the difference between things that are important, and those that are merely urgent.  One of the greatest gifts you can give to your loved ones is the example you set by allowing yourself to be free and whole. 

Please leave your comments below!

Find the resources you need at AverageGoddess.com

One of my friends on Twitter posted this link, and it made my blood boil.  It’s a sexist rejection letter from Disney studios, from 1938.  I know, I know… I shouldn’t let a 70-year-old piece of nonsense get my panties in a twist, but it did.  You wanna know what really put me over the edge?  It was written by A WOMAN!!  Wowza.  As my friend so aptly stated, yay for progress! … but I’m still irritated.  Maybe it’s the Snow White themed paper that makes me just want to punch someone.  “I’m sorry we can’t hire you, what with you being a woman and all, but here are some nice birds you can sing to.”  Ok, I think I’m fine.  Maybe.  Leave me your comments when you’re done steaming!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/polaroid/632255233/sizes/o/

Hey everybody!  I’d absolutely LOVE to get your input on this new project that my friend Lisa is working on!  Watch this video to hear about my experience (it’s only 7 minutes long), and find out what my words are.  When you’re finished, leave a comment to tell us what YOUR word is, and why!  (Don’t think too hard about this – it’s probably the first one that come to mind.)  Lisa is going to be putting together a new website (visit her now at http://www.sunfusion.biz), and she’ll be incorporating people’s stories with her products!  I think this is so fascinating, and I can’t wait to hear from you!

Please take a minute to share YOUR word(s) in the comments!

There are always going to be some days where, no matter how important the job (or sometimes because of how important the job is!), you are just having a hard time getting focused and staying on task.  Maybe you can’t get started at all, you’ve gotten started but keep getting distracted, you’re overwhelmed by the size of your to-do list, or you have several items of seemingly equal priority and aren’t sure where to start.  Here are some great ways to get (and keep) you moving.

1.       When you can’t seem to get started:  Choose your task and think it through from beginning to end.  Make a list of all of the tools necessary, and gather them together now – you don’t want to build in interruptions by having to stop to get something.  Set a timer for 30 minutes, and 30 minutes only.  For those 30 minutes, accept no interruption and work as hard as you can, with the agreement that at the end of that half hour, you can take a break, switch tasks, or keep going.  The majority of the time, you will have become so involved in your project that you will want to see the task to completion, but if not, make sure you honor your agreement with yourself.  You can always repeat this process later, but in the meantime, you have accomplished some solid results.

2.       When you can’t seem to maintain focus:  Work on a series of tasks in small bites of 15 minutes each.  This is not as effective as the dedicated focus of tip #1, but some results are better than none.  After a couple of projects, you’ll usually find a rhythm and start to settle in, but even if you go through the entire day in this manner, you will have made considerable progress on your list.

3.       When you are overwhelmed by the length of your to-do list:  Start by prioritizing your list, select the six most important, then commit to 60 minutes on each project.  Set a timer, and switch when it goes off.  This will keep you from getting so involved on any one project, that you never get to the others.  Take a 10 minute break after each one, and give yourself a work-free lunch after item number three.  This is vital to keep you fresh and energized for each new project, as well as to allow you to decompress and refocus.  Note:  some items will probably not require the full 60 minutes.  Switch when you complete that item.  If you have time remaining for a second round, start with the project you initially got the farthest on, but did not complete, and repeat until all are finished.  This will make a sizeable dent in your list.  If you finish your list of six, make a new list.

4.       DO take breaks, but schedule them by task rather than time.  For instance, take a break after you finish project x, not at 11:00.  Taking breaks at a scheduled time keeps you focused on the clock, instead of the task at hand, and as break time draws closer, you will mentally begin to disengage before the appointed time.

5.       Work in a pattern of “little-little-big.”  We feel motivated when we see results, so by accomplishing two small tasks before tackling a large one, we feel like we’re on a roll!  When you’ve then finished the large task, returning to easy projects is a welcome relief.  This also ensures that your entire day does not mysteriously disappear into a vortex of minutia.  We often intend to just “get the little stuff out of the way,” and end up never getting to the projects of greater importance!

6.       When you are looking for distractions, do your best to eliminate them.  Turn off your email alerts, TweetDeck, and cellphone, unplug your land line, and put on headphones (you don’t even have to play anything on the headphones, but they will keep people from talking to you!).  When your task is complete, give yourself 10-15 minutes to make the rounds and collect your various messages.  Rinse and repeat.

http://www.thegoddesswithinmovie.com 
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Wishing you a passionate, prosperous, and powerful day! 
Kristy Nichols 
a.k.a. The Average Goddes

Today was an amazing October day: 72 degrees, with gorgeous golden sunshine.  About 11:30ish, I was headed to the town north of us to make over my mom’s condo while she was at work (today’s her birthday), and then to get the groceries.  I was in the zone this morning, writing articles and taking care of business, so it was a little difficult to wrench myself away.  I found myself in that same frame of mind as I set out on the half hour drive.  I was laser focused on the drab ribbon of road in front of me, and far more annoyed than necessary at the under-the-speed-limit drivers surrounding me.  As we pulled up to the eight millionth red light in five minutes, I told myself to take a deep breath.  I physically pried my hands off the top of the steering wheel where they had lodged Mad Max style, and reminded myself that I had all day to get these things done.  I was on my way to give a gift, not run a life-or-death marathon.  I took another breath and looked up.  This time though, I looked beyond the bumper of the car in front of me.  I saw the most stunning clear blue sky, and the trees draped in all their autumn finery.  They only began changing about two or three days ago, but over night there had been a color explosion.  I was humbled, not for the first time, at how paltry are my decorating skills when compared to those of Mother Nature.  What a master!  It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders, and what’s this?  I’m smiling?!?  Lucky me! 

The metaphor, being in this case as literal as it can get, was certainly not lost on me.   Don’t be so focused on the road directly ahead that you miss the incredible opportunities indubitably hovering in your peripheral vision!  When is the last time you looked up?

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How To Be An Average Goddess

100+ Secrets of Smart, Savvy, Sexy Women
Blazing a Path Through Life!

What do you do after falling off the exercise wagon? 

First things first – stop berating yourself.  Yes, you are.  Somewhere in your mind you are feeling badly about not exercising, or you wouldn’t be worried about getting back in control.  So let it go.  That’s the past, and this is NOW, the only time you have.

To get started, it’s important to figure out what happened.  Look back and try to remember how you were feeling when the wagon left you under the wheels.  Were you stressed, bored, frustrated, worried?  See if you can get to the heart of why you were feeling that way – what was the cause of the emotion?  Once you have that pinned down (and there may be several reasons), the next step is to ask yourself a hard question:  What can YOU do differently?  No one can change your circumstances except you, so that’s where the answer has to lay.  If you feel you are pressed for time and it’s stressing you out, stop trying to fit in five hour-long sessions in a week.  Maybe there are three days you can fit in a full hour, but the other days you have to spread it out in 15 minutes here and 15 there… it all adds up the same.  If you’re bored (and falling into a rut is extremely common), what can you do to shake up your routine?  Get off the treadmill and try the elliptical.  Bike outdoors.  Walk with a friend.  Take a dance class.  You get the idea. 

The next step is to look at your schedule and do a detailed time map, allow for a variable schedule, but be brutally honest – it’s pointless to look at your planner, throw your hands in the air, and declare the situation hopeless.  There IS time if you are willing to MAKE time.  That said, you must be realistic.  One of the main reasons people fall off of the exercise wagon to begin with is unrealistic expectations.  If there is a day in which you have precisely 15 minutes you can claim in the name of fitness, it would be absurd to plan to go to spin class.  For example, I have an early morning meeting on Wednesday and Saturday.  On those days, I do 15 minutes of strength training before work.  When I get home, if I feel like it I might do cardio, but honestly, I usually don’t.  I have learned to be ok with that.  If I had to come home after a long day and force myself back into my workout clothes, I would come to resent that commitment in short order.  That’s no way to build a lasting routine.

Ultimately, it boils down to goals and commitment.  What was your initial goal?  WHY was that goal important, and is it still?  Does it need to be reevaluated?  Refocus on your reasons for working out in the first place.  If you are trying to lose weight, what will losing weight do for you?  How will you feel when you’ve lost the weight?  It’s the same process whether you are trying to improve your fitness, train for an event, or work on a health issue.  Remember why that’s important.  Write it down!  Writing has a way of bringing thoughts into tangible reality, and its power should not be underestimated.  One last question:  What are you afraid will happen if you achieve this goal?  At first, that may sound stupid.  What could be bad about losing weight or getting in shape?  The truth is, many of us have underlying fears or limiting beliefs about our own abilities and how others perceive us.  We may be afraid that someone will judge us, or that we’ll no longer be able to use our weight as an excuse for not living life, or that our husband will feel somehow less “manly” because his wife is so strong.  Let those things go.  Talk about them if you need to.  Write them down, and then burn the piece of paper.  Do whatever you need to do to break that self-defeating cycle, or this won’t be the last time you’ll find yourself in this position. 

Now, to get back ON the wagon, the first step is to just get started.  There are many people who would disagree with this, but I suggest giving yourself one more day, just to prove to that snotty little voice in your head that YOU are the one in control, and YOU are the one who decides what is best for you.  Build your routine back up slowly, and be kind to yourself.  Commit to doing ten minutes.  That’s it.  When those ten minutes are over, give yourself permission to stop.  99 times out of 100, you are going to continue longer than that, but if you don’t, let that be ok!  After a week, make it 15 minutes, or whatever makes sense to you, according to what you discovered when you laid out your schedule.  There may be days when no “dedicated” exercise time is possible.  That’s ok too!  (But don’t let it become a habit, or you’ll be reading this article again.)  On those days, just focus on staying active for a while – walk or bike to run your errands if possible, take the stairs instead of the elevator, park farther away, see how fast you can get in and out of the store, jog back to your car, and bring the grocery bags in the house one at a time!

When you have completed your workout, no matter how long it was or what it consisted of, take a moment to pat yourself on the back.  Congratulate yourself on a job well done, thank your mind for providing the motivation, and thank your body for the wonderful work it’s just done.  As your relationship with yourself improves, you’ll come to see your fitness as a reward, instead of a chore – pulling the wagon instead of riding in it!

Get your free ebook HERE

How To Be An Average Goddess

100+ Secrets of Smart, Savvy, Sexy Women
Blazing a Path Through Life!

It’s Tuesday, right at the end of the evening – which, since I’m off on Monday and Tuesday, for me is the equivalent of most people’s Sunday evening.  It’s a bittersweet time.  You’ve decompressed from your last workweek, but the new one is looming mere hours away…  I was just reflecting on these last two days, and how fast they flew by.  Of course everyone knows that “time flies when you’re having fun,” but what if I told you that I had just completed two 12-14 hour work days, and was only wishing I had time for more??

Lately, the phrase “follow your passion,” is one that gets thrown around quite a bit, but the response that often draws from people is, “How do I know what my passion IS?”  While that’s a question no one can answer but you, there are clues you can look for.  When you are at work (or running errands, or cleaning the house), what do you WISH you were doing?  That’s probably it.  Now don’t get sucked into the notion that following your passion means you get to play all the time and never have to do anything serious.  People love to quote the old work-horse:  “Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.”  HA!  I’m here to tell you what a load THAT is, and I know that anyone who’s ever had a career they truly enjoy would readily agree with me.  Being an opera singer was probably the hardest, most grueling work I’ve ever done; being an interior designer, the most stressful.  I loved doing both, and let me not mince words – I worked my butt off!!  You’ll know that you’ve found your passion when in spite of the intense effort, not only does the time fly by, but at the end of the day you are just as filled with excitement as when you started, and possibly even more invigorated because of your accomplishments.

Here I am, looking back over my days “off” and the roughly 24 hours I spent researching Average Goddess articles, writing the next newsletter, and talking to goddesses all over the country… I just can’t believe how the time sped by!  Am I a little tired?  Yeah, a little bit, but I don’t have that empty disappointment of looking at two days in which nothing of importance got accomplished, and another workweek is creeping up like the boogey man.  Instead, I’m elated by a string of small successes and new experiences, and while I AM wishing I had two more days off, it’s just so I could have more of this full-heart feeling that comes with a sense of purpose!

So how do you know if you’re following your passion?  Well, when you can work your fingers to the bone on a project and come out begging for more, you’re probably on the right track!!

All my love,
Kristy

P.S.  Have you downloaded your copy of the FREE ebook, How To Be An Average Goddess?  If not, what are you waiting for?  Click here:  www.averagegoddess-freebook.com.

P.P.S.  Have you checked out the FREE weekly newsletter, Secrets of the Sisterhood of Average Goddesses?  It’s FILLED with good stuff!  Click here:  http://www.averagegoddess-freebook.com/newslettersignup.htm

This is it! - Average Goddess, meet THE WORLD.  *trumpets!*  *fan-fare!*  *Wahoo!*

As you probably know, my free ebook, How To Be An Average Goddess, was finished a couple of weeks ago.  Since then, I’ve been striving to find just the right way to bring it to you, and how to bundle it with other things you might find equally wonderful and useful.  Ulterior motives?  Of course!  I want you to fall madly in love with all things Average Goddess.  I want to build an entire alliance of Average Goddesses across the globe – a pageant of motivated and goal-oriented women who are NOT afraid of their own strength and success!  I want to provide you with every tool you need to take that journey, and to become that woman… to find the goddess that lives in every single one of us.  I want to over-deliver on all of your expectations.  I want to show you that eating healthy is NOT a monumental task, that fitness does NOT have to be an elusive concept forever just out of reach, that success IS garnered one achievable step at a time, that family and friends CAN be the most rewarding facet of your life instead of the most taxing, and that the universe IS conspiring at every moment to bring you the life of your dreams!

What you get right this second is a FREE newsletter that’s packed with articles, tips, products, and inspiration to get you started.  Join me now and grab your newsletter, Secrets of the Sisterhood, and the book How To Be An Average Goddess, hits your inbox Saturday morning (assuming technology performs as it should!!).  And of course, you still get all of the regular articles here at Divine Musings, as the world continues to spice up my life with things I feel MUST be discussed!  What you can look forward to in the future is a whole series of books, cds, interviews, videos, and an entire website devoted to nothing but helping you achieve your dreams! 

Ready?  Then get your goddess on!  Just click the link below to be a part of this revolutionary community… filled with goddesses just like YOU!

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I recently read a blog by a witty and charming online goddess friend of mine, where she had an absolutely delightful conversation with her LBP, or Lower Belly Pooch.  Over the course of this conversation, she not only comes to terms with this portion of her anatomy, but discovers that it wasn’t truly LBP who was at fault, but rather an error in her thinking.  You can read this wonderful post here. 

I was reminded of a similar technique I learned about some time ago, for the eliminating of negative energy, emotion, illness, pain, or addiction from the body, sometimes call “Body Clearing,” or “Talking into the Body.”  If you study any of the successful practitioners of the laws of the universe, you will find them all in agreement that one of the most necessary (and often challenging) steps to achieving the life of your dreams is to “get clear.”  Get clear about what?  About any limiting beliefs you may have, about past experiences that might be holding you back, about what it is that you truly desire for yourself.  There are many, many methods for doing this, and each person needs to find what works for them – often a combination of approaches. 

Body clearing is something I first encountered in Boy Doyle’s Wealth Beyond Reason program, where he walks you through a conversation with your ego, in an effort to quiet it, and get it to stop resisting the marvelous changes you are attempting to manifest in your life.  While the process need not be any more complicated than that, Joe Vitale’s book, The Key: The Missing Secret for Attracting Anything You Want, offers an in-depth version from healer Jennifer McLean, which is able to target much more intense issues, such as recurring illness, physical pain, or even injury, all of which can be manifestations of negative energy being held in the body. This energy will need to be released before real healing and forward progress can be obtained. 

The essential process for this technique is as follows:  Start by finding a comfortable position, where your body is well supported.  Take about a minute’s worth of very deep breaths that originate from your lower belly, with the intent and visualization of oxygenating your entire body.  When you have achieved a state of relaxation, you need to go within yourself, and “find your center.”  This can feel a little different for everyone – sometimes in your stomach, heart, throat, lower back, abdomen, or groin.  You will know it by a sense of stillness.  Now travel through your body to the point of the physical pain or tension, and observe it – decide what it looks like.  McLean suggests that some people will see a physical object, others a color, other something tactile (like soft, hard, or gooey), and others will see it as an emotion.  Let your body know that you are here, that you are listening, and that it has your full attention – that you want to help.  It will be happy to see you, and eager to start a dialogue.  Address the point of tension, and allow it to answer you in whatever way makes the most sense.  You body will provide you with symbols you will understand.   

This is the dialog process as McLean describes it:

–Why are you (the thing you are observing) here?  –What is this about?  –Do you have something in particular you want to show me?  –How has [having you here served me]?  –Where do you come from (an event, an uncomfortable conversation, a physical injury, some abusive incident, etc)?  –Am I willing to release this?  [How can I do so?]  (You are not looking for an “exercise more” or a “lose weight” kind of answer here.  The answer is in the moment with the object you are observing.  –What does releasing this thing look like [here in your mind]?  –Is there something here that can help me to release you?  [The body will give you whatever tools or guidance you need to do so.] 

The shift, or release, often comes with some physical manifestation, like a sigh, tears, laughter, pulsing, or heat.  When this happens, take the moment to return to your center and again observe your body.  Has anything changed?  Is there now tension in another part of your body?  McLean suggests the process is similar to peeling an onion, where different layers are revealed.  Finish by quietly thanking your body for all of the wonderful things it does for you, apologizing for any unintentional mistreatment, and forgiving yourself for whatever led to the issue which is now resolved.

If this technique doesn’t work for you, or you’re not comfortable with it, just remember that there are tons of others (many of which I’m sure we’ll be discussing in future articles).  It’s not about HOW you get clear, as long as you DO IT.  Your mind and body are not two separate entities, but one amazing connected system… make sure you’re taking good care of both!

All my love, Kristy

P.S. The technique I’m describing here (as well as any other I might EVER discuss) is not meant to be a substitute for medical attention.

*Adapted from the upcoming FREE e-book: 

How To Be An Average Goddess

100+ Secrets of Smart, Savvy, Sexy Women – Blazing a Path Through Life!

Listen to me ladies.  Seriously – pay attention:  what I’m about to say is probably going to piss some of you off.  I’m sorry.  No, wait, I’m not.  The ones who are going to be annoyed with me?  YOU are the ones who need to hear this.

It is time for you to come to terms with the fact that your appearance is important.  I might go so far as to call it critical.  I’m not talking about societal standards, magazine airbrushing, or mandatory anorexia.  I’m talking about recognizing, and displaying with pride the value of YOU.  You see, women have a unique weapon in this jungle of survival of the fittest, and it’s one that men can’t ever touch.  It’s our femininity – our priceless ability to be both soft and hard, mother and warrior, alluring and powerful.  Reality check:  you CANNOT represent any of these ideals effectively by schlepping around in frumpy clothing, a pair of Crocs (oh dear god save me), and that hack-job hair cut you gave yourself last night.  NOT.  GONNA.  HAPPEN.  And don’t think that just because no one is actively making an issue of these things, it’s not affecting you.

How do you feel when you look your best?  You stand a little taller, there’s more purpose in your step, and more confidence in your voice.  You look people in the eye.  You handle situations more smoothly.  What message do all of these actions broadcast?  “This woman is a force to be reckoned with.” 

Let’s compare that to this scenario:  You haven’t been in a hair salon in ten years. Your clothes fall into one (or more) of the following categories: 1) the majority of the contents of your closet have been there since your kids were in elementary school… and they’re now entering college,  2) are dangerously tight because you are in patent denial about going up a size, or 3) are shapeless, colorless, and devoid of style because you hate shopping.  And makeup – please!  Who has the time?!  What image do you suppose this presents to the world?  At best, laziness and indifference.  “This woman does not care about herself, and has no clue how to put herself together.”  At worst, it could be perceived as ineptitude.  “If this individual can’t even see her way to putting an appropriate outfit together, why would I entrust her with ________________” (fill in with a position, a promotion, a big project, etc.). 

To which individual are you more attracted?  This has nothing to do with vanity, ladies, this is self-respect, and that has a beauty that transcends age, pants size, chest size, hair color, and body shape.  You ABSOLUTELY deserve to have current clothing, a professional haircut, and glowing skin, hair, and nails.  You’re worth it.  That’s the truth.  Now go do it.

All my love, Kristy

*Adapted from the upcoming FREE e-book: 

How To Be An Average Goddess

100+ Secrets of Smart, Savvy, Sexy Women – Blazing a Path Through Life!