Today’s women are called to perform so many tasks, and fulfill so many roles, they truly are nothing short of modern-day superheros.  Every one of us is an average goddess, perfoming unsung heroic tasks as part of our everyday lives.  How many of these are a part of your regular routine?

• get the kids up
• make sure they’re dressed, fed, and to school on time
• get yourself ready for work
• make sure you look good
• perform at your best on not enough sleep
• find clever ways to eat healthy (or remember to eat at all!)
• get some exercise
• tidy the house
• wash some laundry
• get something together for dinner
• pick up groceries
• get the kids home from school
• chauffeur them to their various activities
• make sure homework gets done
• connect with your partner
• try to enjoy a hobby
• entertain on weekends
• find energy for sex
• pay bills
• call the refrigerator repair guy
• pick up a gift for your husband’s sister
• go to bed AND get some sleep… before you do it again tomorrow!

Have you ever stopped to think about what you accomplish in a day?  (I swear, the only thing we need to get this country back on track is to get a super-busy woman on the task.)  You are amazing!  From one act to the next, to the next, to the next… and only occasionally does something fall through the cracks.

But what if there was more?

“More???” you ask.  “How could I possibly get in any more?!?”

What if “life” consisted of something greater than madly dashing from item to item on a to-do list, and actually LIVING? 

This is the goal of women who want it ALL.  For us (yes, I’m one of them), it’s not enough to hit the pillow at night just knowing that “everything got done,” because guess what? WHOOPEE!  It’ll be waiting for you to do all over again tomorrow!

We want satisfaction. 

We want joy. 

We want growth.

We want enough time and energy left at the end of the day to pursue our OWN passions, achieve our OWN goals, and remember who we truly are as individuals!  (No, who you ARE is not a frenzied drone who’s purpose is to satisfy everyone else’s needs - no matter how often it may seem that way.)  With all of the monumental feats we perform in any given 24 hour span, it tends to be this ONE idea that eludes us, and truly, it is the keystone that supports the arch of our lives.  Without it, it is only a matter of time before we crumble…. and perhaps you’ve already been there once or twice.

So how can this thing be accomplished?  By creating a sense of harmony.  By both weaving together the various aspects of your life, and by creating boundaries.  By coming to understand the difference between things that are important, and those that are merely urgent.  One of the greatest gifts you can give to your loved ones is the example you set by allowing yourself to be free and whole. 

Please leave your comments below!

Find the resources you need at AverageGoddess.com

One of my friends on Twitter posted this link, and it made my blood boil.  It’s a sexist rejection letter from Disney studios, from 1938.  I know, I know… I shouldn’t let a 70-year-old piece of nonsense get my panties in a twist, but it did.  You wanna know what really put me over the edge?  It was written by A WOMAN!!  Wowza.  As my friend so aptly stated, yay for progress! … but I’m still irritated.  Maybe it’s the Snow White themed paper that makes me just want to punch someone.  “I’m sorry we can’t hire you, what with you being a woman and all, but here are some nice birds you can sing to.”  Ok, I think I’m fine.  Maybe.  Leave me your comments when you’re done steaming!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/polaroid/632255233/sizes/o/

 We all have people with whom we interact that we find to be, well, difficult.  Their sky is always falling, they incite gossip wars, tattle on others, are intolerant of everyone’s weaknesses but their own, and are just plain whiny.  You started your day pumped up and in a great mood, but within five minutes (or less) they’ve sucked your energy drier than Death Valley.  You look at your watch.  Is the day over yet?  Nope… 7 hours and 55 minutes to go.  Ouch.  This is especially difficult if you work in an intimate environment where you must interact daily and can’t possibly avoid them.  Worse, it may be someone you really like on a personal level.  So what do you DO?

1.       Before you can change how you interact, you must change how you react.  Take a good look at yourself in these situations.  How are you contributing to the problem?  Does this person see you a willing outlet for their woe?  Do you smile, nod, or even verbally indicate agreement?  Stop doing that!  You are actively inviting their negativity into your space!  Don’t encourage them.  Respond to their negativity with as much positivity as you can muster.  This will generally either show them that you are not playing for Team Whiny, or frustrate them into keeping it to themselves.  Interestingly, many negative people don’t even realize what they are doing.  They just see commiserating as a form of bonding.  By responding positively, you may just show them that there is another option.

2.       Seek the source of the negativity.  What is causing their pain?  What are they looking for?  Is there some positive way you can help?  Negative people are frequently attention starved on some level, so they attempt to draw it through sympathy.  Try giving them attention in a different way.  If the individual is a friend, greet them with a big hug, and ask them to share something about themselves that is non-negative – ask about the book they’re reading, or what their kids are doing in school.  If it’s a coworker or more formal relationship, try giving sincere compliments to demonstrate their value – it could be on their clothing, their smile, or their accomplishments.  They will likely blow this off, but repetition breed familiarity and comfort, so keep at it – it’s a worthwhile endeavor.

3.       If you feel confronting them is appropriate, adhere to the following guidelines:

a.       Address the behavior, NOT the person:  “Your negativity about this project is really pulling me down,” as opposed to “You’re so negative and you pull me down!”
b.       Cite specific examples.  “I don’t like your negativity,” will certainly not be effective, especially since they probably don’t even think of themselves as negative.  “It really bothers me when you complain    about Mary like that,” shows them exactly what the issue is.
c.       Don’t expect them to be a mind reader – be prepared to spell out what you’d like to see change.  “I would prefer you not talk to me about others behind their backs.”
d.       Request immediate feedback.  You’ve had your chance, now let them respond, and DON’T interrupt.  Their feelings are every bit as valid as your own.

4.       If you must listen to them, for whatever reason, take internal action to combat the effects of their negativity.

a.       Recognize that there is no such thing as “out there,” so this individual’s negativity is in some way a manifestation of your own feelings. 
b.       Open yourself up.  What do you have to learn from this?
c.       As they are talking, create a filter in your mind.  Ho’oponopono is an excellent technique for this (I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you.), or keep repeating silently “I love you, and I am OK.”
d.       Try Stacy’s recommendation below for letting love work its magic.  There is no stronger force!

•  @stacyreck says:  Imagine a “Pink Box of Love.” Visually put the negative person in the box & allow the forces-that-be to send them love.
• @leifhansen says: 1. Listen deep to whats behind the negativity (needs/pain). 2. Share vulnerably how it effects you. 3. Talk to supervisor.   

http://www.thegoddesswithinmovie.com 

Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com.averagegoddess 

Wishing you a passionate, prosperous, and powerful day! 

Kristy Nichols 

a.k.a. The Average Goddess

There are always going to be some days where, no matter how important the job (or sometimes because of how important the job is!), you are just having a hard time getting focused and staying on task.  Maybe you can’t get started at all, you’ve gotten started but keep getting distracted, you’re overwhelmed by the size of your to-do list, or you have several items of seemingly equal priority and aren’t sure where to start.  Here are some great ways to get (and keep) you moving.

1.       When you can’t seem to get started:  Choose your task and think it through from beginning to end.  Make a list of all of the tools necessary, and gather them together now – you don’t want to build in interruptions by having to stop to get something.  Set a timer for 30 minutes, and 30 minutes only.  For those 30 minutes, accept no interruption and work as hard as you can, with the agreement that at the end of that half hour, you can take a break, switch tasks, or keep going.  The majority of the time, you will have become so involved in your project that you will want to see the task to completion, but if not, make sure you honor your agreement with yourself.  You can always repeat this process later, but in the meantime, you have accomplished some solid results.

2.       When you can’t seem to maintain focus:  Work on a series of tasks in small bites of 15 minutes each.  This is not as effective as the dedicated focus of tip #1, but some results are better than none.  After a couple of projects, you’ll usually find a rhythm and start to settle in, but even if you go through the entire day in this manner, you will have made considerable progress on your list.

3.       When you are overwhelmed by the length of your to-do list:  Start by prioritizing your list, select the six most important, then commit to 60 minutes on each project.  Set a timer, and switch when it goes off.  This will keep you from getting so involved on any one project, that you never get to the others.  Take a 10 minute break after each one, and give yourself a work-free lunch after item number three.  This is vital to keep you fresh and energized for each new project, as well as to allow you to decompress and refocus.  Note:  some items will probably not require the full 60 minutes.  Switch when you complete that item.  If you have time remaining for a second round, start with the project you initially got the farthest on, but did not complete, and repeat until all are finished.  This will make a sizeable dent in your list.  If you finish your list of six, make a new list.

4.       DO take breaks, but schedule them by task rather than time.  For instance, take a break after you finish project x, not at 11:00.  Taking breaks at a scheduled time keeps you focused on the clock, instead of the task at hand, and as break time draws closer, you will mentally begin to disengage before the appointed time.

5.       Work in a pattern of “little-little-big.”  We feel motivated when we see results, so by accomplishing two small tasks before tackling a large one, we feel like we’re on a roll!  When you’ve then finished the large task, returning to easy projects is a welcome relief.  This also ensures that your entire day does not mysteriously disappear into a vortex of minutia.  We often intend to just “get the little stuff out of the way,” and end up never getting to the projects of greater importance!

6.       When you are looking for distractions, do your best to eliminate them.  Turn off your email alerts, TweetDeck, and cellphone, unplug your land line, and put on headphones (you don’t even have to play anything on the headphones, but they will keep people from talking to you!).  When your task is complete, give yourself 10-15 minutes to make the rounds and collect your various messages.  Rinse and repeat.

http://www.thegoddesswithinmovie.com 
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com.averagegoddess 

Wishing you a passionate, prosperous, and powerful day! 
Kristy Nichols 
a.k.a. The Average Goddes

Hello all!  Those of you who are subscribers to the Secrets of the Sisterhood ezine already know about the new weekly feature, called “A Goddess Speaks.”  Each week I’ll be asking a question that YOU, my divine readers, have requested.  To find out the question of the week, subscribe to Secrets of the Sisterhood at:

http://www.averagegoddess-freebook.com/newslettersignup.htm

Then either email or Tweet me your response!  Good answers will be posted in the following week’s blog (see Meal Planning for an example), and the best will be featured in that issue of the ezine.  Please include your real name, and whatever links you’d like to direct people to (as long as they are legal and appropriate… I’ll be checking first).  If I have individuals who are repeatedly exceptionally helpful and insightful, I would like to consider inviting guest authors to appear in the ezine!  If you have a question you’d like to ask, please email or Tweet that as well. 

Wishing you a passionate, prosperous, and powerful day!
Kristy Nichols
a.k.a. The Average Goddess

Claim your free copy of How To Be An Average Goddess at http://www.averagegoddess-freebook.com, and get a complimentary subscription to the Secrets of the Sisterhood ezine as my gift to you!

Follow Kristy on Twitter at http://twitter.com/averagegoddess

I just started reading The Way of the Superior Man, by David Deida.  I’m only on page 14, and it’s awesome.  In fact, it’s so good that I had to share this quote with you now, rather than wait till I’m finished to include it in a newsletter.  This book was written to be directed at men, or more correctly, anyone with a “masculine essence,” but this priceless gem applies to everyone equally, so just go ahead and insert YOURSELF anywhere it says “he,” or “men” or whatever (unless you ARE a “he,” or “men,” or whatever).  Check it out:

Most men make the error of thinking that one day it will be done.  They think, “If I can work enough, then one day I could rest.”  Or, “One day my woman will understand something and then she will stop complaining.”  Or, “I’m only doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life.”  The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way.  They won’t.  It never ends.  As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to tussle, play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift.

It’s never going to be over, so stop waiting for the good stuff.  As of now, spend a minimum of one hour a day doing whatever you are waiting to do until your finances are more secure, or until the children have grown and left home, or until you have finished your obligations and you feel free to do what you really want to do.  Don’t wait any longer.  Don’t believe in the myth of “one day when everything will be different.”  Do what you love to do, what you are waiting to do, what you’ve been born to do, now. 

Spend at least one hour a day doing whatever you simply love to do – what you deeply feel you need to do, in your heart – in spite of the daily duties that seem to constrain you.  However, be forewarned:  you may discover that you don’t, or can’t do it;  that in fact, your fantasy of your future life is simply a fantasy. 

Most postponements are excuses for a lack of creative discipline.  Limited money and family obligations have never stopped a man who really wanted to do something, although they provide excuses for a man who is not really up to the creative challenge in the first place.  Find out today whether you are willing to do what it takes to give your gift fully.  As a first step, spend at least an hour today giving your fullest gift, whatever that is for today, so that when you go to sleep at night you know you couldn’t have lived your day with more courage, creativity, and giving.

WOW!!!

Get the tips, tools, and resources to live an empowered life in the free newsletter Secrets of the Sisterhood of Average Goddesses by clicking HERE, and receive the book How To Be An Average Goddess as my gift to you!

Given many people’s current state of economic affairs, the subject of money, and how best to earn it, is a high priority for more than a few.  I want to talk for a moment about the definition of “best” in that last statement.  I want to talk about your J-O-B.  This is where you spend a conservative estimate of 37.5 hours a week (many more for some), for roughly 49 weeks of the year.  That’s over 1800 hours a year.  Multiply that by a 50-year career, and you reach just under 92,000 hours.  That’s a number most of us can’t even wrap our heads around!

For myself, I want my job to fill me with passion and purpose.  I want to wake up excited for what the new day will bring.  I want to leave that day feeling like I’m a better person for what I’ve accomplished… no, more… I want to know that the world is a better place for what I’ve accomplished.  If I’ve improved at least one life, or made one person genuinely smile, that’s a success.  What I do NOT want is to clock in and clock back out eight hours later, then look back on the week and see that I am personally (let alone financially) un-enriched for my 40 hours of life invested.

No matter how old you are, and no matter how much time you have “invested” in a particular pursuit, the only investments that have any lasting impact are those you make in yourself.  Now if you’re a nine-to-fiver working for the weekend, at a time when many count themselves lucky to BE employed, I’m not suggesting you start composing your epic “I’m outta here!” speech.  I am encouraging you to take a look at how you are spending this enormous portion of your life, and evaluating how that aligns with your core desires and beliefs.

I was listening to an interview yesterday with business coach Ann Vertel, and she suggested you picture your business five years from now.  Are you doing exactly the same things you did yesterday and last week?  Where is the motivation?  Where is your GROWTH??  And this does not just apply to business owners!  Whether you work a corporate job, or construction, or waiting tables, the question remains the same:  How do you see yourself changed in five years?  I am absolutely NOT saying you shouldn’t love your corporate / construction / restaurant position – I sincerely hope you do!  I am merely asking you to THINK about it!  Really look at how you feel at the end of a day, or better yet, at the end of the week.  Most of us never do this, because we might be forced to take action and destroy the status quo… and deny it though we might, we love the mindless ease of the status quo.

So now what?  As usual, a question begets another question.  If your pursuits don’t meet the level of your dreams, what will you DO?  It’s never too late, until it’s too late.  In this time when fear and struggle have become pervasive, there is nothing that could reshape this world faster than the human race suddenly rising above the everyday, and reaching for the extraordinary!  What would be extraordinary for you?

Wishing you a passionate, purposeful, and powerful day,
Kristy
a.k.a.  The Average Goddess

Click here to find out how YOU can release the strength and power of your inner goddess:  www.averagegoddess-freebook.com

Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/averagegoddess

It’s Tuesday, right at the end of the evening – which, since I’m off on Monday and Tuesday, for me is the equivalent of most people’s Sunday evening.  It’s a bittersweet time.  You’ve decompressed from your last workweek, but the new one is looming mere hours away…  I was just reflecting on these last two days, and how fast they flew by.  Of course everyone knows that “time flies when you’re having fun,” but what if I told you that I had just completed two 12-14 hour work days, and was only wishing I had time for more??

Lately, the phrase “follow your passion,” is one that gets thrown around quite a bit, but the response that often draws from people is, “How do I know what my passion IS?”  While that’s a question no one can answer but you, there are clues you can look for.  When you are at work (or running errands, or cleaning the house), what do you WISH you were doing?  That’s probably it.  Now don’t get sucked into the notion that following your passion means you get to play all the time and never have to do anything serious.  People love to quote the old work-horse:  “Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.”  HA!  I’m here to tell you what a load THAT is, and I know that anyone who’s ever had a career they truly enjoy would readily agree with me.  Being an opera singer was probably the hardest, most grueling work I’ve ever done; being an interior designer, the most stressful.  I loved doing both, and let me not mince words – I worked my butt off!!  You’ll know that you’ve found your passion when in spite of the intense effort, not only does the time fly by, but at the end of the day you are just as filled with excitement as when you started, and possibly even more invigorated because of your accomplishments.

Here I am, looking back over my days “off” and the roughly 24 hours I spent researching Average Goddess articles, writing the next newsletter, and talking to goddesses all over the country… I just can’t believe how the time sped by!  Am I a little tired?  Yeah, a little bit, but I don’t have that empty disappointment of looking at two days in which nothing of importance got accomplished, and another workweek is creeping up like the boogey man.  Instead, I’m elated by a string of small successes and new experiences, and while I AM wishing I had two more days off, it’s just so I could have more of this full-heart feeling that comes with a sense of purpose!

So how do you know if you’re following your passion?  Well, when you can work your fingers to the bone on a project and come out begging for more, you’re probably on the right track!!

All my love,
Kristy

P.S.  Have you downloaded your copy of the FREE ebook, How To Be An Average Goddess?  If not, what are you waiting for?  Click here:  www.averagegoddess-freebook.com.

P.P.S.  Have you checked out the FREE weekly newsletter, Secrets of the Sisterhood of Average Goddesses?  It’s FILLED with good stuff!  Click here:  http://www.averagegoddess-freebook.com/newslettersignup.htm

This is it! - Average Goddess, meet THE WORLD.  *trumpets!*  *fan-fare!*  *Wahoo!*

As you probably know, my free ebook, How To Be An Average Goddess, was finished a couple of weeks ago.  Since then, I’ve been striving to find just the right way to bring it to you, and how to bundle it with other things you might find equally wonderful and useful.  Ulterior motives?  Of course!  I want you to fall madly in love with all things Average Goddess.  I want to build an entire alliance of Average Goddesses across the globe – a pageant of motivated and goal-oriented women who are NOT afraid of their own strength and success!  I want to provide you with every tool you need to take that journey, and to become that woman… to find the goddess that lives in every single one of us.  I want to over-deliver on all of your expectations.  I want to show you that eating healthy is NOT a monumental task, that fitness does NOT have to be an elusive concept forever just out of reach, that success IS garnered one achievable step at a time, that family and friends CAN be the most rewarding facet of your life instead of the most taxing, and that the universe IS conspiring at every moment to bring you the life of your dreams!

What you get right this second is a FREE newsletter that’s packed with articles, tips, products, and inspiration to get you started.  Join me now and grab your newsletter, Secrets of the Sisterhood, and the book How To Be An Average Goddess, hits your inbox Saturday morning (assuming technology performs as it should!!).  And of course, you still get all of the regular articles here at Divine Musings, as the world continues to spice up my life with things I feel MUST be discussed!  What you can look forward to in the future is a whole series of books, cds, interviews, videos, and an entire website devoted to nothing but helping you achieve your dreams! 

Ready?  Then get your goddess on!  Just click the link below to be a part of this revolutionary community… filled with goddesses just like YOU!

http://www.averagegoddess-freebook.com/index.htm

*Adapted from the upcoming FREE e-book: 

How To Be An Average Goddess

100+ Secrets of Smart, Savvy, Sexy Women – Blazing a Path Through Life!

Listen to me ladies.  Seriously – pay attention:  what I’m about to say is probably going to piss some of you off.  I’m sorry.  No, wait, I’m not.  The ones who are going to be annoyed with me?  YOU are the ones who need to hear this.

It is time for you to come to terms with the fact that your appearance is important.  I might go so far as to call it critical.  I’m not talking about societal standards, magazine airbrushing, or mandatory anorexia.  I’m talking about recognizing, and displaying with pride the value of YOU.  You see, women have a unique weapon in this jungle of survival of the fittest, and it’s one that men can’t ever touch.  It’s our femininity – our priceless ability to be both soft and hard, mother and warrior, alluring and powerful.  Reality check:  you CANNOT represent any of these ideals effectively by schlepping around in frumpy clothing, a pair of Crocs (oh dear god save me), and that hack-job hair cut you gave yourself last night.  NOT.  GONNA.  HAPPEN.  And don’t think that just because no one is actively making an issue of these things, it’s not affecting you.

How do you feel when you look your best?  You stand a little taller, there’s more purpose in your step, and more confidence in your voice.  You look people in the eye.  You handle situations more smoothly.  What message do all of these actions broadcast?  “This woman is a force to be reckoned with.” 

Let’s compare that to this scenario:  You haven’t been in a hair salon in ten years. Your clothes fall into one (or more) of the following categories: 1) the majority of the contents of your closet have been there since your kids were in elementary school… and they’re now entering college,  2) are dangerously tight because you are in patent denial about going up a size, or 3) are shapeless, colorless, and devoid of style because you hate shopping.  And makeup – please!  Who has the time?!  What image do you suppose this presents to the world?  At best, laziness and indifference.  “This woman does not care about herself, and has no clue how to put herself together.”  At worst, it could be perceived as ineptitude.  “If this individual can’t even see her way to putting an appropriate outfit together, why would I entrust her with ________________” (fill in with a position, a promotion, a big project, etc.). 

To which individual are you more attracted?  This has nothing to do with vanity, ladies, this is self-respect, and that has a beauty that transcends age, pants size, chest size, hair color, and body shape.  You ABSOLUTELY deserve to have current clothing, a professional haircut, and glowing skin, hair, and nails.  You’re worth it.  That’s the truth.  Now go do it.

All my love, Kristy

*Adapted from the upcoming FREE e-book: 

How To Be An Average Goddess

100+ Secrets of Smart, Savvy, Sexy Women – Blazing a Path Through Life!